"I have the best life...really... I affirm this all the time. Not only do I affirm it, I truly do believe it.
And then, I find moments during my "great life" that send me into a fury of tangled emotions. And I ask myself, how do I get myself in that space, where I start to feel anger or frustration coursing through me? When I have the best life, how do these feelings come to surface? If we believe that we are beautiful and divine beings, with purpose and connected to source/divinity, how do we keep creating distractions from the truth?
Is it only ego? There must be some growth along the way... is there a world that can exist where growth CAN be beautiful? I think I would like this place. I was called an "idealist" for a good duration of my youth years, as if I was not in touch with "reality." People around me would describe their reality and it didn't sound any fun at all. Why not have a deliciously divine "ideal" reality... I believe we can create this reality.... a better world. Where we live in peace with ourself.
Really, that is all we need. If we were at peace with ourself... our True self, there would be no contrast to have with others. I am reminded daily that nothing, and I mean NOTHING is ever about anyone else. If you find yourself focused on someone or something else and give your power away, you are not facing the truth. Nothing is outside of us, it is ALWAYS within."
Reading this hit a nerve because I was thinking about how my work, in spite of being hectic and irritating, is strangely turning into the place I need to be at -- the place I'm getting some kind of opportunity to take a look around me and which may provide some of the answers to the path I will be taking in the hopefully near future. And I don't mean that in an airy-fairy way (though, I know, this blog sure as hell looks all kinds of airy-Cali-fairy). For example, the lawyers I work with have in a strange way shown their true colors slowly, their softer side. OK, they're still sharks when doing their jobs, but that is often a very good thing, and for example, Slick the youngest may be slick, BUT more than once already he's shown he will not abide repulsive potential clients -- anyway, getting way too TMI, esp for ye olde public blog, so maybe I'll continue it in the privates, bye.